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The weight of doing things the wrong way is unbearable. It crushes people, breaks trust, and leaves a wake of destruction that no apology can fully repair. I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. I’ve lived it.

Lives will forever changed because of it. But I refuse to let it define me.

When people choose deception over truth, it doesn’t just hurt them—it impacts everyone who trusted them. It tests our capacity for grace, our ability to heal, and our commitment to doing things the right way. And eventually, the price has to be paid.


1. Doing it the right way brings freedom. Doing it the wrong way brings chains.
When you live with integrity, you don’t have to look over your shoulder. But when you lie, when you manipulate, when you take shortcuts—you become a prisoner to your own choices.

2. Trust is built slowly and lost in an instant.
I’ve watched people throw away years of trust for a moment of selfishness. And what’s worse? They don’t always feel the weight of it right away. But those they hurt? They feel it immediately.

3. Wrong choices don’t just hurt the person making them.
They hurt everyone who believed in them. Everyone who gave them space to be better. Everyone who thought, “Maybe this time will be different.”

4. The weight of regret is heavier than the weight of doing it right.
The pain of discipline is temporary. The pain of regret lingers for a lifetime.

5. A double-minded person is unstable in all they do.
James 1:8 says this, and I’ve seen it firsthand. One foot in the truth, one foot in deception. One foot in commitment, one foot in selfishness. It never ends well.

6. Eventually, the price has to be paid.
You can avoid it for a while. Cover your tracks. Justify your actions. Blame others. But the truth always comes out. And when it does, it’s never just the guilty that pay—it’s everyone who ever loved them.

The journey of restoration and wholeness isn’t a polished sermon in a beautiful cathedral. It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s painful. It’s nights of wrestling with God, tears that don’t have words, and learning to breathe again when the weight of betrayal knocks the wind out of you. It’s choosing to heal when bitterness feels like the easier road.

But here’s what I know—redemption is real. Healing is real. Hope is real.

Pain doesn’t have to be the end of the story. If we allow it, God can take what was broken and make it whole. He can restore what was lost. He can give us back a sense of peace, clarity, and strength—not because we avoided hardship, but because we walked through it and came out the other side.

For those of us who choose to do it right, we may carry scars—but we also carry wisdom, resilience, and the confidence of knowing we honored what was right, even when it was hard.

If you’re a leader who’s tired, burned out, discouraged, or feeling stuck, you don’t have to carry it alone. The Abel Project is a safe space for leaders—because we know that when things get difficult, the weight of leadership can feel crushing. We walk with leaders before they break—before burnout turns into damage that ripples out to others.

If this resonates with you and you’d like to set up a free coaching call, you can do so at the following link:

https://calendly.com/mikelflanders/free-one-on-one-coaching

You don’t have to do this alone. There’s still hope. Let’s walk this out together.